Call Commander Pillows

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Second lifeReal life.

Infantry.

Executive Asks Death To Wait

How the goat got square eyes.

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Communication Breakdowns

"10 - 9 - 8 - 7 — Get your finger out of my ear! Buzz, go sit down. Now I lost count. Re-starting countdown: 100 - 99 - 98 — Buzz, I swear to god..."

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

"Cool game!"

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

"You're fine, sir. I'm ticketing your back seat passenger for persistent, obnoxious, unsolicited advice."

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Holy cow! This is nothing like the hunting video game we played!

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

"I actually know more commands than I respond to."

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

DOH, NHS and GP

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

Of feeling the balance and whip of a favourite rod.

"You'd better not be thinking about using that remote during my show!"

"Enough about your Xbox already!"

'What's wrong? You can play any game you want! Mwaahahaha!'

Pentagon

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

'The enemy sir. They've broken our code. Perhaps it wasn't good idea to use pig Latin.'

"Back in my day, 'Call of Duty' wasn't a game."

What is the first thing you do straight after England has just won the World Cup?