Command Caller Pillows

'Fetch!...Sit!...Heel!...Paw!...They're not great conversationists, are they?'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Heel! Pass it on."

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'It's for you.'

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

Bingo Addicts...

Man and dog.

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

Scooter thinks outside the box of treats

You always call. Telemarketer's Mom.

"We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls but your prayer is important to us so please stay on the line and one of our ....."

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! The other day, my grandpa tried driving to the corner store but got lost and ended up at the beach, six states away. How do I get him to realize it's time to stop driving without hurting his feelings? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in 1863 when Grandpappy Cohen accidentally led a caravan of zoo-bound pelicans onto a field at Gettysburg. One particularly panicky pelican escaped and distracted General Lee, and the rest is history. Um ..

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"

'Are these your children?! They're absolutely gorgeous!'

"Sit, beg, fetch. There - that's all the dog crap I know. Now buzz off."

So sorry, I dialled the wrong number. I dialled my salary by mistake.

'You don't me- I'm not on Twitter or Facebook but I would like to be your friend,'

"I installed Skype, so it'll be just like you never went away to college."

Sergeant shouting at soldiers

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

'All in favor, touch your nose and lift your left eyebrow.'

"Hi. Steve Smith here. Just calling to say hello and touch base. Well, bye. Hi. Steve Smith here. Just calling to say hello and touch base. Well, bye. Hi..."

At the beep, please tell us what you're calling about. Beep. I'm calling because I have a beep fetish. What are you wearing?

"I know t's tech-support, but, for two fifty a minute, I expect you to talk dirty."