Number Caller Pillows

'Are these your children?! They're absolutely gorgeous!'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

Drama Llama

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"Do-si-do, I said! DO-SI-DO!"

'It's for you.'

Bingo Addicts...

"Thanks for calling the celebration help desk. For assistance with high fives, press one now. For fist bumps, press two, for chest bumps, press three..."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?

Wife to husband about pigs in kitchen: 'Sometimes I wish you weren't the county's champion hog caller.'

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

You always call. Telemarketer's Mom.

'Beep... Hello, it's the Black Knight again... Could we move our fight to Thursday morning? Call me back...'

"We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls but your prayer is important to us so please stay on the line and one of our ....."

'Fetch!...Sit!...Heel!...Paw!...They're not great conversationists, are they?'

So sorry, I dialled the wrong number. I dialled my salary by mistake.

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! The other day, my grandpa tried driving to the corner store but got lost and ended up at the beach, six states away. How do I get him to realize it's time to stop driving without hurting his feelings? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in 1863 when Grandpappy Cohen accidentally led a caravan of zoo-bound pelicans onto a field at Gettysburg. One particularly panicky pelican escaped and distracted General Lee, and the rest is history. Um ..

'You don't me- I'm not on Twitter or Facebook but I would like to be your friend,'

Communications Department.

"I installed Skype, so it'll be just like you never went away to college."

"I know it was you. I have collie ID."

'Sir, Tri - cities products on lines 1, 2 and 3.'

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

'Hello...Dr Smith...this is...Fred Yomp's computer...'

"No, you're not disturbing me, Herb. I'm up with the chickens this morning."

"I selected option 2, for help with my billing question, but was switched to option 3, to get a hard time with my billing question."

"Hi. Steve Smith here. Just calling to say hello and touch base. Well, bye. Hi. Steve Smith here. Just calling to say hello and touch base. Well, bye. Hi..."

'I asked why my Social Security check was late, and they transferred me to a number in Beijing.'

Lovely to catch up!

"I have to hang up now. You just walked through the door."