Number Callers Pillows

Bingo Addicts...

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Drama Llama

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"It's so nice to be home, mum, and have unrestricted use of the telephone again"

"Do-si-do, I said! DO-SI-DO!"

'It's for you.'

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

'Why yes, I would like to buy double glazing...'

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

You always call. Telemarketer's Mom.

If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?

"We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls but your prayer is important to us so please stay on the line and one of our ....."

"I'm in the middle of something. Can I call you right back?"

Oh, crap! The Jehovah's Witnesses are back.

'Are these your children?! They're absolutely gorgeous!'

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! The other day, my grandpa tried driving to the corner store but got lost and ended up at the beach, six states away. How do I get him to realize it's time to stop driving without hurting his feelings? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in 1863 when Grandpappy Cohen accidentally led a caravan of zoo-bound pelicans onto a field at Gettysburg. One particularly panicky pelican escaped and distracted General Lee, and the rest is history. Um ..

'You don't me- I'm not on Twitter or Facebook but I would like to be your friend,'

So sorry, I dialled the wrong number. I dialled my salary by mistake.

Sex Line - "Not tonight dear - I've got earache."

"Got to go, Shirley, my bath is running."

Communications Department.

"I know it was you. I have collie ID."

'I had a great day! I woke up 10 people, interrupted 28 breakfasts, 42 lunches and thoroughly ruined 21 dinners.'

'Hello...Dr Smith...this is...Fred Yomp's computer...'

Man Chasing After Infinite Numbers. . .

It's that danged telemarketer again.

Soothing music whilst waiting for phone line - for Vivaldi press 1.....

"... Or, if you're still listening to all of these automated options and we can't put you off making this call, press 9."

'We'll be back in an hour. Answer the phone if it rings, Burl.' 'What if it doesn't?'