Call Champion Pillows

'Sorry, but your time on hold has expired. CLICK!'

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

The Three Wise Queens

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

Couples' therapy

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

WHO checklist

"It looks like we're reorganizing again."

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

Good coaches help people change, great coaches help the change stick...

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

What will happen in the world

'He may have swallowed to much change.'

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Police Shootings: Searching for justice

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"I can't recall a time when I've seen quite so many grassroot initiatives!"

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'If we're to be able to afford a cutting edge IT system then we have to make sacrifices...and you're ours.'

Boss: 'Change is good!' Employees: 'Who's getting fired?'

'This is a very innovative proposal. It can really shake things up around here. Let's not rush into making a decision too fast. I think you should gather much more information than we need to make an informed decision.'

"I don't know about you guys, but I sure miss the dog park."

HOPE 2.0

From Veep to Potus

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."