Call Commander T-Shirts

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Second lifeReal life.

Executive Asks Death To Wait

How the goat got square eyes.

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Communication Breakdowns

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

"10 - 9 - 8 - 7 — Get your finger out of my ear! Buzz, go sit down. Now I lost count. Re-starting countdown: 100 - 99 - 98 — Buzz, I swear to god..."

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

"Cool game!"

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Holy cow! This is nothing like the hunting video game we played!

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

"I actually know more commands than I respond to."

DOH, NHS and GP

Of feeling the balance and whip of a favourite rod.

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

"Enough about your Xbox already!"

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

"Back in my day, 'Call of Duty' wasn't a game."

'The enemy sir. They've broken our code. Perhaps it wasn't good idea to use pig Latin.'

'What's wrong? You can play any game you want! Mwaahahaha!'

"You'd better not be thinking about using that remote during my show!"

Pentagon

'In a real car, it's called a gear shift, not a joystick.'