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"Dismissed corporal. I outrank you."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Second lifeReal life.

Monk Prompt

Hair Traffic control.

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

'Pop-up Bible.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Priest

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

Church Hymn

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

P.O.W. !! to US credibility.

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'