Command Commentators Gifts

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Sports Radio in Crisis

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Chess on TV

"Actually, we will replace you."

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

The United States of Amazement

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

"This is gonna be great!"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

Voice of the GOP

Dog's Loo

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?

Trump Liberty

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.

"The video of our wedding now includes commentary."

'He's called that, because he keeps getting licked.'