Code Commentator Gifts

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Hardware and software

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Sports Radio in Crisis

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

Nethead strip: Speak binary

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

And now, for a rebuttal.

Pundits

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

"Actually, we will replace you."

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

The United States of Amazement

"This is gonna be great!"

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"