Coding Critic Gifts

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'After his web site got going we bought this 5000 sq. ft. home, but he never leaves his computer.'

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"So, what do you think about the web developer course you are taking?"

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"Yes, binary is really kicking in."

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

"I could do that."

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

Meet the People of the Internet

"I think the banana looks like a mustache, or a weird smile or something. How about an apple? ... Just a suggestion."

"Apparently my writing is so bad I've been rejected by a gene editor. She said she could see the lack of talent in my DNA."

'To much orange.'

Capitalism

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because you're my husband - it stinks."

"First the open floor plan, now this."