Command Commentators T-Shirts

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Sports Radio in Crisis

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Sir Patrick Moore.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Tree of Public Opinion.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"Actually, we will replace you."

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

"This is gonna be great!"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'

Voice of the GOP

Trump Liberty

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Dog's Loo

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.