Command Comedian Gifts

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Antler Buzzers.

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

"Appears to be choking on his responsibility."

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

"Of course under your new contract the requirement for you to provide 24 hour cover is optional...you could also opt for 36 or 48 hours!"

"Sign here to indicate you have no idea what you've signed."

bound by restrictive covenant

"And with this, nuptial contract, independent inventory and itemised bill...I thee wed."

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

'You're putting that saddle on backwards.' - 'How do you know which way I'm going?'

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"Hon, what's an allegory?"

Wait a second - doesn't he work for the company next door?

'Are you sure about this? - These people have NO sense of humor.'

'OK, OK, I'll make sure I replace the loo roll from now on!'

"Just stopping by to say I'm still ignoring you."

Church League - Thou Shalt Not Steal

The Rise and Fall of the the Planet of the Geeks.

"Maybe you're taking my answer out of context."

Sergeant shouting at soldiers

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'