Comical Pup Parent Gifts

"Well, until you do figure it out you're not allowed to shout at him!"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

'Bad dog, stop doing the crossword.'

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

"It's only the wind."

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

'Good book?'

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"You stop it, now!"

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"Is our owner hot?"

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Non-working dog, please help

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

Debug

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

'I tried to teach him to shake, but he'd rather do 'high fives'.'

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

'Doing tricks is a slippery slope.'

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'