Comic Twist Chaser Gifts

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

Critisize your weight.

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"He's very persuasive ... "

Clown Skis.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

'The sty is falling!!'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

The evidence destroyed

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

"He's chasing the White Whale, as usual."

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.

'Looks like the invasion has already began...'

Frankie and Annette.

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

"He's actually leaving a review, the ungrateful little sod!!"

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

Men watching TV, shouting close him down.

Escaping the Office

"Gentlemen, I am happy to announce that as of today we are closing down our Washington news bureau and moving the entire operation to L.A."

Reporter #3: can.

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'