Unexpected Twist Seeker Gifts

Pig kisses frog - and turns into a warthog.

'May I help you?' - 'Yes, can you recommend a Chardonnay?' - 'Hmmm... Not really, I don't drink wine.' - 'Why do you work in an off licence if you don't drink?' - 'I suffer from congenital irony.' - 'Ah.' -

'Wow! I thought that Charlie was just horsing around.'

'Looks like the invasion has already began...'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Bullpen

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"Eat my dust!"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Swiss army knife

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

The evidence destroyed

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

Doom & Gloom

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

"No window, but on the plus side there's a gateway to another dimension behind the Lloveras print."

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

'You called a plumber!'