Comedic Crime Chaser Gifts

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

Clown Skis.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

'The sty is falling!!'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.

"He's actually leaving a review, the ungrateful little sod!!"

'You're an inspector now?'

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

'Yes Sarge - looks like another carbon footprint'

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

Mission Impossible

Men watching TV, shouting close him down.

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

Spokane County Police Department

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

Golf Crime Scene.

"The ticket's for having a cooler bike than me."

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

'It's just like playing at Wembley.'

"Ooh, are those Reese's Pieces?"

'Jerry! That bus you just cut off says 'Olympic Archery Team' on the side!'

Police crime scene.

"I liked the couch better where it was."

"If there be any gay or lesbian characters remaining inside this TV set to whose true sexual orientation we have not yet been alerted, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."