Comedy Scene Chaser Gifts

"I liked the couch better where it was."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Clown on bike.

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Knights of the bedside table.

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Dedication to excellence....

Noah's ark, many lions

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Zoo animals.

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'