Comedy Scene Chaser Gifts

"I liked the couch better where it was."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Clown on bike.

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

Knights of the bedside table.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Dedication to excellence....

Zoo animals.

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

Noah's ark, many lions

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

Just a little seasoning...

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'