Comedy Chaser Gifts

Men watching TV, shouting close him down.

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

Clown Skis.

Poor Waldo - another promising relationship has had it...

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"He's actually leaving a review, the ungrateful little sod!!"

"Hi sarge, I think we got our arsonist!"

"How many do I need to get wrong to win the glasses?"

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Hey man, did I step on your foot a minute ago?"

"Dr Wilson, are you sure your eyesight's okay?"

Cutting the Grass

Man at vets with his pet birds head stuck in a kettle

'I think I've got measles.'

'It's just like playing at Wembley.'

"Can you check the filter? I think it's clogged with dog hair."

'Jerry! That bus you just cut off says 'Olympic Archery Team' on the side!'

Lonely leg syndrome!

'The sty is falling!!'

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

'By Jove, you're no more surprised than I am! I was certain we were on the trail of a fox.'

"The ticket's for having a cooler bike than me."

"If there be any gay or lesbian characters remaining inside this TV set to whose true sexual orientation we have not yet been alerted, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Critisize your weight.

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."