Comic Twist Chaser Pillows

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Critisize your weight.

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"He's very persuasive ... "

Clown Skis.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

The evidence destroyed

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

"He's chasing the White Whale, as usual."

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

'Looks like the invasion has already began...'

"He's actually leaving a review, the ungrateful little sod!!"

Frankie and Annette.

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

Men watching TV, shouting close him down.

Reporter #3: can.

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

Escaping the Office

"The ticket's for having a cooler bike than me."

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'