Comic Twist Chaser T-Shirts

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Critisize your weight.

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"He's very persuasive ... "

Clown Skis.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

The evidence destroyed

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

"He's chasing the White Whale, as usual."

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

'Looks like the invasion has already began...'

"He's actually leaving a review, the ungrateful little sod!!"

Frankie and Annette.

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

Men watching TV, shouting close him down.

Reporter #3: can.

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

Escaping the Office

"The ticket's for having a cooler bike than me."

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'