Ironic Twist Seeker T-Shirts

A fisherman is hooked on the beach.

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'

'I married him on the rebound, and now his CHECKS are bouncing!'

Pilgrim and Turkey in Stocks.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Eat my dust!"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

The Final Selfie

The evidence destroyed

What do you think about this "too big to fail" stuff?

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

The Red Carpet

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

Eurydice in prison

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

Doom & Gloom

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

'Looks like the invasion has already began...'

"Beware of dog"