Comic Relief Chaser Gifts

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

I think I just oiled myself...

"He's very persuasive ... "

Escaping the Office

"Another asteroid free day."

Fountain of youth. Fountain of intelligence

"Hey, flea-bag. Lift a leg... lose a limb."

Critisize your weight.

'Honestly, I came here to drink your blood, but this claret is positively delightful!'

'That dog won't hunt.' Bird dog in a pink tutu.

"There may be a quick layover to check on her young."

"You mean that blond we saw 3 dunes ago wasn't a mirage?"

Working from home

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Overjumpers

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

Super Heroes.

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

My God, I need to fart.