Comic Relief Collectors Pillows

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Overjumpers

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Unemotional Support Animal

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"Touché"

"Ever eat a bird?"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

The First Printed Bible

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

His and Hers Wedding

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."