Comic Relief Collectors Pillows

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Overjumpers

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Unemotional Support Animal

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Touché"

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"Ever eat a bird?"

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

The First Printed Bible

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."