Comic-loving Nutrition Fanatic Gifts

An Expert's Guide to What's Good and What's Bad to Eat and Drink.

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

'The stuff legends are made of'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

Tangled facing dog...

You are what you eat

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."

Hello, sir, we're the post-Halloween, leftover candy, concerned citizens patrol.

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

"You're getting too much fiber."

'I'm not really hungry but I keep eating tons of fish because I need the Omega 3 fish oil to help lower my triglycerides.'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

The big bad wolf uses an inhaler before he blows down the three little pigs' straw house.

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

'Cut way back on grabbing for the gusto, and don't put any salt on it.'

'Finish your ice cream, young man, or no salad.'

'How would you like that veggieburger...deep fried in lard, or smothered with bacon bits or salami slices?'

Dramatic readings of food labels.

"No, obesity doesn't run in my family - it walks."

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

Fat man picking up women in supermarket

"I'm trying to eat healthy. Where do you keep the organic donuts?"

'Your blood pressure is skyhigh! No more salt lick for you!'

"Not yet, one day I expect there will be chocolate covered statin tablets..."

"It's a very sweet gesture, but I have to ask: are you fully vaxxed yet?"

'Your wife put you on a fad diet?'

"It's about your cholesterol, Mrs Spratt"