Comedy Watchers Gifts

'When I said 'pipe and slippers' I meant...'

Children's Parties

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"That'll be five bucks."

Lesser known greek gods,

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

The First Fire Stick

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

Stairlift around cliff face.

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth