Comedy Couple Watcher Gifts

'Barely an love and already arguing.'

Stand-up Romcom

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"Young Montague's full of himself."

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

Act as though you're in a screwball comedy.

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

"One more word from you and I am leaving home."

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

"Yes, we did try to save our marriage. But, then he ran off with the marriage guidance counsellor."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

"Sounds like you've both been pushing each others' buttons."

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"I want to make it with you."

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

'And they lived happily ever after - well beyond their means.'

"My feet are cold. Be a dear and warm them!"

'I see the glass as half-full. Whereas he sees the glass and blames me for the naked man hiding in the closet.'

Couple in front of computer. Screen reads 'Internet shopping with husband'. Husband is huffing, puffing and sighing.

'I haven't seen such irritation since I forced my husband to watch the Suze Orman marathon.'

Tantrum sex.

Husband check

"Sometimes I run the recording of my own wedding backwards showing me coming out of the church a free man."

'You always insist on having the last word.'