Comedy-loving Parents Gifts

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"Time for bed, guys."

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Therapy for babies.

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Young Godzilla.

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

"I'm trying to make them look less scary."

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

"He started teething this morning."

'I already had one bath today! You want my skin to wear out?'

'He took his first step!'

"Doesn't Dad know about child labor laws?"

"Dad, when will I be old enough to shave?"

'For a brief time I held the world record for the youngest person on earth.'

'Don't worry about me, mom, I'll be fine as long as you keep working!'

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

'Don't you just love them when they do that?'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'Of course I respect him more than you - He's house trained!'

"Did you check the milk? I don't wanna get mad cow milk!"

"Congratulations! Now you get to eat bugs!"