Comedy In Science Fan Gifts

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

Schrodinger's Black Box

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

So You've Cloned Yourself

The life of penguins.

Flan-eating bacteria

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"We've added this since depth perception is a problem in space."

'This should succeed...it's not aimed at anything.'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

"Ready. Aim. Pew! Pew!"

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

"Ever killed a man?"

"Surprisingly, the soil samples provide new evidence for the 'giant ball of cheese' hypothesis."

The One That Newton Missed

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."