Comedy Cheer Gifts

Golf cheerleaders.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Jumping cheerleaders

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'Red for me, please.'

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'Two, four, six, eight Who do we appreciate ,,,'

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

'Forget it, Sister, Jessica -- Notre Dame doesn't need cheerleaders!'

"It's trouble for Chubby when Mitzi brings out the vacuum."

'You mean as opposed to a rural gnome?'

Meet the Plagiarist

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

Mahout and his elephant on wash day.

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

'Don't worry Marty! All we have to do is sit still and look stupid for a couple of hours . . . like when we watched 'Pulp Fiction'.'

"Missing elf"

'Sorry - I was just for Christmas.'

French Cheers For Lance Armstrong's Retirement.

'How often does he go on line?'

Laundry Day in the Garden of Eden.

Santa in hospital bed with intravenous milk and cookies in situ.

Take all the time you want.

'I've been really good this year, Santa. I only got two ASBOs.'

'For our next Management Team Retreat can we go to a Cheer Competition?'