Comedian's Cheerleader Gifts

Take all the time you want.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Go team!

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Strive to win!

'This is gonna be one of those teamwork talks, isn't it?'

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

Starfish doing the wave.

'XFL Hall of Fame.'

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

'Here's the first copy. We only printed 1000 copies of your book.'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

'Forget it, Sister, Jessica -- Notre Dame doesn't need cheerleaders!'

Ancient Roman Cheerleaders.

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

Hockey cheerleaders.

Normal People Support Group

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

'It was very good.'

"Oh, I'm not lost. I just like your flowerbeds better."

The end is far away. 'Hey, why do you have to bring everybody down?'

'I don't have a good feeling about our chances of winning this game.'

'Don't worry Marty! All we have to do is sit still and look stupid for a couple of hours . . . like when we watched 'Pulp Fiction'.'

Great. Fourteen things to cheer about and it's only Monday.

'I think he's perfect for 'The Morale Committee'.'

Interpretive Cheering

'Honestly! You'd do anything to win the Community Balloon Race, wouldn't you?'

"You will NOT kneel during the national anthem!! And look me in the eye when I'm talking to you!!"

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.

Golf cheerleaders.

"I've noticed an improvement in all my patients since I got the bouncy couch."