Chore Humorist Gifts

Laundry Day in the Garden of Eden.

Mahout and his elephant on wash day.

Football Chameleon

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Magic Act

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

The Mafia Goes Green.

Murphy bed...Murphy.

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Giraffe painter.

"You could do with some weight training."

"It's trouble for Chubby when Mitzi brings out the vacuum."

Crash Test Dummy's Running Machine

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

Sheepdog

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

"I'm inspired to try to run a marathon."