Chore Humorist Gifts

Laundry Day in the Garden of Eden.

Mahout and his elephant on wash day.

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Football Chameleon

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Magic Act

"Do you know a good chiropractor?"

The Mafia Goes Green.

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

Murphy bed...Murphy.

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

Sheepdog

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

"It's trouble for Chubby when Mitzi brings out the vacuum."

Crash Test Dummy's Running Machine

Giraffe painter.

"You could do with some weight training."

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."