Dance Humorist Gifts

In evolutionary terms, the "fight or flight or self-deprecating humor response" was brief.

'Assad's despicable actions can only be met with equal force! So we are going to. . .Twerk the Jerk!'

"The corps du ballet needs some urine testing."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Football Chameleon

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"The Eggsorcist"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Radiator jazz player

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Elevator Music

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The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Double Saxophone

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Rap-scallions

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

Dr. Phil takes it home.