Comedy Catalyst Gifts

Ice croquet.

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Things are looking up!"

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

Suddenly, everyone spoke at once....

"I want to forewarn you—tonight's topic seems to be phallocentrism, and Jessica is in a take-no-prisoners mood."

'Your wife says you were married for 50 years and now you want to communicate?'

'When the market is down, we find the ben bernanke punching bag very cathartic.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"I can't recall a time when I've seen quite so many grassroot initiatives!"

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"It's garage music."

"Are you new around here?"

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

Verbal blogger.

"Oh, no, silly man - there's no such place as Hades...there is, however, a place where you spend the rest of eternity listening to politics."

"It's weeder's elbow."

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

The wedding.

Silent Fight #8997

"Great leadership is about listening to everyone, not just the people who agree with you."

"See? I told you our yard was too small for a swing set."

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Ark, Noah - not arc!'

"It said on the tin 'put on 2 coats'..."