Conversation Catalyst Gifts

"Great leadership is about listening to everyone, not just the people who agree with you."

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

'I think they want someone to make up a foursome at gossip.'

Verbal blogger.

Maybe we don't have much to say because we talk to each other on cell phones all day.

"That's right and you should have seen what they took out of his stomach once they got him to hospital - That big it was!"

Suddenly, everyone spoke at once....

"I'm testing a theory on how to overcome shyness by wearing an unusual hat."

'Why can't men ever be supportive when we're trying to lose weight?'

'I used to be an unconcerned citizen. Now I'm a scared-as-hell citizen!'

If a tree falls in the woods and there's nobody there to hear it, doe s it make a noise?

"I know the facts, Dad - tell me about the fantasies of life?"

Technology and human relations

"Tonight was GREAT. - We should do it again!"

'Well, our tests indicate your illness is all in your head.'

'No offense, Mom, but your ideas about birth control are kind of dated.'

'Why do you want to go to a priest about our marital and sex problems. How is he expected to relate to them?'

"I want to forewarn you—tonight's topic seems to be phallocentrism, and Jessica is in a take-no-prisoners mood."

Thanks boss. Jamming our cell phones was the best thing that ever happened to my social life!

"Oh, no, silly man - there's no such place as Hades...there is, however, a place where you spend the rest of eternity listening to politics."

"Don't talk to him. He's some crazy moderate."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

My name's Troy, and I'll be your server tonight. My name's Fred and I'll be talking way too loudly about my colon. I'm still learning my name, and I'll be screaming for no good reason.

When I said "He's gone to the other side," Frank, that's not what I meant.

Pilot test #1: The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour with co-host Rudy Park. Today's topic: Why I despise having a co-host forced upon me by @#$% executives at corporate headquarters. I disagree. What? What did you say?!! They told me just to disagree with whatever you say. I'm going to !@#$ kill them and !@#$ you!!! Better than I'd hoped.

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Woe Befall the Linguistic Interloper

On the book tour with Bill Gates

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"Now that everyone's stopped masking, it's harder to tell I'm an a*****e."

"My parents never talk to me about S-E-X – all the talk about is S-A-Ts."

"I'm passing an enormous gasoline truck and you're talking about little 'dee-dee-dee's!"

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."