Comedy Catalyst Pillows

Ice croquet.

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Things are looking up!"

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Suddenly, everyone spoke at once....

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I want to forewarn you—tonight's topic seems to be phallocentrism, and Jessica is in a take-no-prisoners mood."

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

'Your wife says you were married for 50 years and now you want to communicate?'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'When the market is down, we find the ben bernanke punching bag very cathartic.'

"I can't recall a time when I've seen quite so many grassroot initiatives!"

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

"It's garage music."

"Are you new around here?"

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

Verbal blogger.

The wedding.

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

"Oh, no, silly man - there's no such place as Hades...there is, however, a place where you spend the rest of eternity listening to politics."

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

"It's weeder's elbow."

You put sparkling water in the WHAT?

Silent Fight #8997

"Great leadership is about listening to everyone, not just the people who agree with you."

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

"See? I told you our yard was too small for a swing set."

"It said on the tin 'put on 2 coats'..."