Comedically Reckless Gifts

I have the feeling that you live like there's no tomorrow, Mr. Fusco. I'm not quite that reckless, doctor. I live like there's no day after tomorrow.

'Just look at him- a fool and his money are soon partying!'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

The Nihilist Deli.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"Well which do you think is more likely, your pillow is growing hair or you're losing yours?"

"Please—no technology questions!"

"I'm not drunk! I'm jush looking for my car keyish."

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

Enlightenment sounds okay, but I've decided to go with willful ignorance instead!

'Blessed before 20/01/00'

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

'Unplug all your kitchen appliances and climb up on the roof! -- We'll explain later!'

Chuckie's test results come back negative.

"Your tired eyes are red and irritated because you put sleeping medicine in them. That's not how it works, Mr. Jenkins."

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'So when you say 'Jesus Christ that hurts', does that mean for the purposes of patient feedback that you're happy with the standard of care?'

'Fortunately, the only person hit was a snowman. . .'

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

"I don't have the $39,000 I need to pay off my student loans - I don't even have the comma."

'You were right - it WASN'T a cat with a racing stripe.'

"The last thing I remember was the flight attendant saying I had too many drinks ... "

'George,I know deer season opens tomorrow but you're not going to make it.'

'Rinse please.'

'The flight was okay, but the TAXI got hijacked!'

'I'm glad to see that there are people who still use the stairs.'

'I think I see why your gun is shooting high, Al.'