Comedically Lazy Gifts

'Actually, sex just isnt that important to me.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Homo Zapiens

The Nihilist Deli.

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

The Sedentary Dead.

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

"Well which do you think is more likely, your pillow is growing hair or you're losing yours?"

"Believing life begins at 40, Dave decided to take it easy for the first 39."

"I'm not drunk! I'm jush looking for my car keyish."

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

'Its part of our new range of inactive wear.'

Remote Toaster

Whoa. I just had a near-life experience.

Enlightenment sounds okay, but I've decided to go with willful ignorance instead!

When Anteaters Get Lazy

"The very thought of exercise does that to him. I guess that's why it's called cross training."

4 Reasons for Procrastination

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

Rodney kicked off his fitness regime by buying a heavier remote control...this was not enough.

'That is the laziest way to walk a dog I have ever seen.'

'I don't like vegetables, so when I grow up, can I be a couch donut?'

"Of course I know where the kitchen is, it's where I keep my beer."

"I like to mix up my exercise routine, usually with sitting on the sofa drinking beer!"

Chuckie's test results come back negative.

'He used the treadmill, once.'

"Your tired eyes are red and irritated because you put sleeping medicine in them. That's not how it works, Mr. Jenkins."

'So when you say 'Jesus Christ that hurts', does that mean for the purposes of patient feedback that you're happy with the standard of care?'

"I don't have the $39,000 I need to pay off my student loans - I don't even have the comma."

"I wish my father was alive to see how lazy I could really be."