Comedically Pharmaceutical Gifts

'To gain back market share, Walgreen's will now offer a $5 all-you-can-swallow analgesic buffet on Tuesday nights.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

Covid Variants

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"The penicillin looks good."

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …

"When we tested this medication on dogs, nobody noticed any side effects."

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'This drug is so expensive...if it were recalled the stock markey might crash.'

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."