Comedically Inclined Executive Gifts

Perhaps an egg shaped product was the secret...but they couldn't crack it.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"To be or not to be."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"What fly?"

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

"It's time to end the suffering."

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

I Have A Closed Mind.

'Dang! The water's expired.' (Spring Water).

Clown Firing Squad.

'Oh george dear, the landlord has raised the rent!' 'Has he? I can't!'

"Sorry, that was the three cups of coffee, four cans of red bull, and double dose of Paxil talking."

'So, she's decided to buy the helicopter.'

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

'May I play through please?'

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'That's the last time I ask Janice to book the stripper for the office party.'

"I think it's important that we look at this holistically."

"I've got a lot on my plate right now. For starters, I need to sharpen my pencil, refill my coffee and get a new comb."