Comedically Frustrated Patients Gifts

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

"Every time I think we've sorted our marriage problems out, he comes home again!"

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

List making as therapy.

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

'Is there a lemon law for husbands?'

Taking blood pressure

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"The doctor will bill you now."

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

'No appointments are available for the next three months, but you can always call in to the doctor's talk show.'

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

Dentistry jokes.

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

Excess Baggage: Most taxi drivers have GPS in their cars, but will still get completely lost when you are the passage.

'It started with a headache, but not I've got a bedsore from sitting so long in this waiting room!'

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

"Still won't start?"

"Tell me if this hurts."

'I am so very frustrated! It's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

"The video of you giving that big bloke a piece of your mind has gone viral!"