Comedically Challenged Worker Gifts

Employment Office. You're still only finding temporary jobs? Yeah, my income stream is not continuously flowing and it never reaches flood stage.

"To be or not to be."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"My wish is simple—to give something back to the community."

Office Ergonomics.

Business Sisyphus

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

"What fly?"

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

"It's time to end the suffering."

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

'He's lookin' at me!'

Middle Manager

"I'm no longer cleaning my whole apartment. . . Just the 'Zoom Zone.'"

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

'Oh george dear, the landlord has raised the rent!' 'Has he? I can't!'

Clown Firing Squad.

"What?! You called for Souper Man, right?"

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

Common Sense in Job Two

"Meals on Wheels"

Conflicted Chief

'Hi Honey! I wanted to thank you for taking the baby to day care this morning!'