Comedically Challenged Worker Pillows

"To be or not to be."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"My wish is simple—to give something back to the community."

Office Ergonomics.

Business Sisyphus

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

'Bernice . . . could you come in here please? Bring a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter!'

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

"What fly?"

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

"I'm no longer cleaning my whole apartment. . . Just the 'Zoom Zone.'"

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

Middle Manager

"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"

Clown Firing Squad.

'Oh george dear, the landlord has raised the rent!' 'Has he? I can't!'

'Hi Honey! I wanted to thank you for taking the baby to day care this morning!'

"Meals on Wheels"

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

"What?! You called for Souper Man, right?"