Comedically Inclined Athlete Pillows

Man falling off bike at finish line.

"To be or not to be."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

"What fly?"

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

"It's time to end the suffering."

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'Oh george dear, the landlord has raised the rent!' 'Has he? I can't!'

Clown Firing Squad.

"Well which do you think is more likely, your pillow is growing hair or you're losing yours?"

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

'That's the last time I ask Janice to book the stripper for the office party.'

No caption (A ball boy crouches by the net on a ping pong table as a game is being played).

Pinocchio on a date: "Before this goes any further, you should know that I've got fungal rot."

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

'Dr Phil sez, if I'm gittin' the milk for free, I should do the right thing and marry her!'

The evolution of triathletes.

'Aaaaaah! Kenny's fallen in! Don't make eye contact! Play dead, Kenny! Play dead!'

'Achoo! I can't believe I'm allergic to sand. I bet this doesn't end well...'

"Four out of five doctors recommend that you get up and get some exercise."

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

"O.K. Which one of you worried well is the most worried?"