Comedic Wit Gifts

I'm beginning to think that the expensive super HD TV we bought that would be just like 'looking through a window' actually IS a window!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

Wind shear - 81 st and Lex

'He has his father's feet.'

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

"I am in so much trouble."

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

Fisherman Funneral

'I'm promoting you from yes-man to corporate stooge.'

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

Under Canvas

A heron wearing waders.

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

MPs opt for longer surgery opening hours: Gp's have to be available when the public needs them... We won't be able to look at it until after the six week Christmas break!

"I don't care if all your friends like that. You go back and put on some more insulation, young lady!"

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

"Connect the dots"

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'