Comedic Soul Searcher Gifts

"I'm trying to find the end of this roll of tape ..."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Breast Height Chart

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"I haven't felt that overwhelming urge to create, but then again I haven't felt much of anything lately."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

The Anti-Materialist

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Existential Risk

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

"The meaning of life at a glance"

Washing Machine Torture

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"Yeah, well, we've all got baggage."

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."