Comedic Soul Searchers Gifts

You will soon embark on a long journey by foot...I can see your car being towed.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Breast Height Chart

Christian and Born again Christian...

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"I haven't felt that overwhelming urge to create, but then again I haven't felt much of anything lately."

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Existential Risk

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

Washing Machine Torture

"The meaning of life at a glance"

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."