Comedic Self-reflector Gifts

"I like to be disciplined about my writing, sharpening my pencils and organising my desk in the morning which leaves me time for writers block after lunch and a nervous breakdown in the evening."

Wanna step outside and say that?! Don't beat yourself up. At least not until you've put something on.

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"He's his own worst enemy."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

That party went well.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

Cellphone Islands

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"The overthinker"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

Zoo: No Hunting.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

"Is this who I am?"

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

Pachyderm insomnia.

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'