Comedic Relief Lover Pillows

Blemish, Zit, Mole and Pimple.

"But will they cover the spread?"

"Good news, honey - I've been fired. We're rich."

Rule #1. Of what? HYPOCHONDRIACS HANDBOOK. A little passion project I'm working on; or, rather, I would be working on. I can't write or type wearing my protective anti-flu gear. Rule #1: Get some loser to take dictation for you. I hate where this is heading.

Ed uses comb-overs on his bald spots.

'We can learn a lot about motivation for sports psychology.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"I don't care if it is your job. If you issue me with that ticket, don't bother coming home tonight!"

'I picked it all up from daytime TV.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"Touché"

Breast Height Chart

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

"I've changed my mind"

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'