Comedic Relief Chaser Pillows

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Critisize your weight.

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"He's very persuasive ... "

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

Biological Alarm Clock.

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"Wait! It gets even crazier!"

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"I guess I'll never understand women."

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'