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"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Who's got the hammer?"

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

Critisize your weight.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"He's very persuasive ... "

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"Wait! It gets even crazier!"

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."

'... and then he slammed the door in my face...'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Pirate Paddle Boat.

"I guess I'll never understand women."